11 | Barrett Wallace |
The Final Fantasy games had always been set in an atmosphere of - well, of fantasy. Sure, there were some brief moments of weird science, but for the most part it was kings and magicians and elves and Moogles. Final Fantasy VII
changed all that, plunging the player into a post-apocalyptic world run
by a giant evil corporation. One of your first allies was Barrett
Wallace, a tough-talking bar owner slash resistance movement leader
equipped with a Gatling gun where his right hand should be. Where he
kept his ammunition is anybody's guess, but he was a solid bro to have
at your back.
10 | RoboCop |
Officer Alex
Murphy is a damn fine cop, and amputating most of his body isn't going
to change that. Paul Verhoeven's dystopian classic RoboCop
looks more and more prescient each day, and it's only a matter of time
before OCP takes over Detroit for real. One of the most chilling scenes
in the movie comes when Murphy's doctors tell OCP's Bob Morton that
they've managed to save one of Murphy's arms, only for Morton to command
them to take it off to make Robo more efficient. From the baby food
diet to the crook-wrecking hand cannon, Robocop is one of the best
cyborgs of all time.
9 | Deathlok |
Let's be frank: a
lot of the time, being a cyborg kind of sucks. Case in point: Deathlok
the Demolisher. Colonel Luther Manning was fatally injured in the line
of duty, but for some crazy-ass reason his body was preserved and
brought back to life in the future tricked out with a panoply of
mechanical parts. Nobody actually ever asked him if this was
cool, so naturally he has some problems adjusting to the whole deal.
Later on, he travels back in time to team up with Spider-Man
and winds up brainwashed and turned into a living bomb. While he was
functioning, though, he kicked a lot of ass - massive strength,
computer-quick reflexes and a damn laser gun. All awesome.
8 | Seven Of Nine |
We like to think
of the process of cyborgification as simply adding non-sentient metal
parts to be controlled by our human consciousness. But what if the robot
bits were the consciousness? Ergo, the Borg, one of the longest-running Star Trek foes. Probably the most interesting example of the Borg is Seven of Nine from Star Trek: Voyager.
Rescued by the crew and severed from the Borg collective, the bodacious
Seven had to re-adjust to those pesky human feelings while using her
advanced capabilities to help the ship.
7 | Kano |
Choosing a favorite cyborg from the Mortal Kombat series is like choosing a favorite pallette-swapped ninja from the Mortal Kombat
series: just about impossible. After much deliberation, we decided to
go with Kano. Not only was he represented in the very first game, he
also has some of the nastiest fatalities in the whole series. As the
leader of the Black Dragon, he came into contact with Jackson "Jax"
Biggs early in his career. Fist-to-face contact, that is, as Jax smashed
his skull and eye socket, forcing him to get fitted for a cyborg
prosthetic that can shoot lasers.
6 | Ash Williams |
Most of the
cyborgs on this list have been created through pretty high-tech means.
Unfortunately, sometimes you don't have the best and brightest
scientists on call and you have to wing it. Ash Williams, the
protagonist of the Evil Dead
series, gets his machine parts the hard way. After seeing his hand
possessed by a "deadite," he cuts it off with his trusty chainsaw and
mounts the machine to his stump, transforming him into a gore-spouting
murder machine of the highest caliber. Eventually he makes a metal hand
to take its place, but the chainsaw is really the pimp gear.
5 | Rom |
Probably the best toy tie-in comic of all time, Rom: Spaceknight
took a doomed Hasbro action figure and spun a world of star-spanning
adventure around it. The planet Galador was under attack by the
rapacious Dire Wraiths, so brave Galadorians chose to be transformed
into Spaceknights, cold steel warriors built to combat the powerful
foes. Rom was sent to Earth to continue the fight, where us dumb-ass
humans treated him like he was the bad guy - mainly because the Wraiths
could shapeshift to human form. Alas, because of copyrights the series
will never be reprinted.
4 | Trap Jaw |
If you look back objectively, He-Man
was kind of a tool. Prancing around in his furry underwear and bondage
gear, riding a cat into battle - it's all a little suspect. In contrast,
Skeletor
and his henchmen seem pretty awesome. Case in point: Trap Jaw. A
villain from another dimension, he hooks up with Skeletor early in his
career and makes a name for himself with his metal jaw that can bite
through anything. The more metal he eats, the stronger he becomes, which
makes him a great role model for the kids out there.
3 | Gray Fox |
One of the most badass characters in the Metal Gear Solid
series is Gray Fox. When we meet him in the first game, he's in the
guise of a cyborg ninja who appears at helpful intervals to wreck stuff -
but is he friend or foe? His real name is Frank Jaeger, and he was once
one of Solid Snake's compatriots in FOXHOUND. He comes to a
particularly grisly end, but his trademark battle armor shows up on a
few other characters throughout the series. The ninja really hammered
home the fact that Snake wasn't a superhuman protagonist in his own
game, but a vulnerable meatbag who needed to be smart to survive.
2 | Adam |
One of my favorite Buffy
big bads was Adam, the final product of the demon-hunting group known
as the Initiative. Created by Maggie Walsh as an attempt to build the
perfect organism, Adam is half human, half demon and half machine. Yes, I
realize that that's three halves. He's just that much of a badass.
After his first act - killing his creator - he set out into the world to
make more creatures like himself. Despite having a built-in grenade
launcher among other armaments, Adam's greatest weapon is his
computerized intelligence and demonic charisma. Buffy and crew barely
manage to stop him, and that's pretty tough.
1 | Darth Vader |
Easily the most awesome man-machine to ever walk the earth, Darth Vader
is such a tremendous badass that even three prequel movies couldn't
dampen his swag. Born Anakin Skywalker, the Sith Lord slowly went over
to the Dark Side, but that's not why he got all droided up. No, it was
falling into an active volcano after a vicious fight with Obi-Wan Kenobi
that did it. Even before the volcano dive, Anakin had already lost all
of his arms and legs to lightsaber attacks. Rescued by the evil Emperor
Palpatine, Vader is reconstructed as a heavy breathing juggernaut of
pure evil.
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